Courtesy of CartoonStock.com and Google Images

 

Since it’s a known fact that women don’t poop, (or fart for that matter), I’d just like to point out that in the video game world, this isn’t so farfetched. No one does.  Have you ever been playing Halo 3, slaying grunt after little grunt and had Master Chief stop, throw his warthog in park, hold his stomach, drop his trousers and lay a fat fudge dragon on the floor?  Never.  Either video game characters have the most powerful sphincters known to man or they are just extremely constipated 24/7. 

 

Now, in most games that you play…what is the most common way to revive your heath?  You eat cheesecake…or lobster…or whatever the hell you can get your grubby little hands on.  Once you eat it, your happy little character gains his health back and goes back to the daily grind.  I dare you to try this in real life.  Eat three whole pies, a serving of tuna, and eight cheeseburgers and see if that doesn’t destroy your insides.  I tried it once…I could barely hold up my bastard sword and on top of that, I looked preggers in my green tunic. 

 

The worst part is that in some games, you can actually find bathrooms to go in and there are toilets sitting there.  I’m waiting for a game where I can actually interact with the shit buckets and go potty every once in a while.  Maybe it could be a save point or something… Yeah!  Because honestly, who effs with the guy on the terlet while he’s crapping?  Not me.

 

So next time you’re playing one of your RPG’s – look at it and decide if you were actually playing the role of that character, would you like to go poo every once in a while?  Should this game element be added in for realism purposes? I’m not sure…but what I do know is that eating everything you want all the time with no negative repercussions can be harmful to a child’s growing mind.  Unfortunately, cheeseburgers and cake don’t go straight to your six pack or biceps.  But that’s beside the point.

 

To poo or not to poo – that my friends… is the question.

Your best friend,

-Floogin-

This entry was posted on Monday, February 8th, 2010 at 9:00 am and is filed under Editorial, Video Games. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.