E.T. phone home...or chugs nuts?
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Movies Into Games=My Head Into a Microwave, My Beef with Basketball Games, Call of Duty Lag and the Like.
           Hey everybody, long time no see, hugs and kisses and all of the usual greetings that we all know and love. So I’ve just returned from a long and relaxing trip and have also finished de-tox to cleanse my body of all the delightful poisons that I consumed. Over this break I didn’t play any games at all and thusly forgot all of those little things I hate about them. Since I’ve been reintroduced to my loves I have had to learn to live with all of these annoying twirks once again….shall I bitch? Yes? No? OK here it goes.
           If there was ever a genre of games that screamed waste of time pile of crap it would be the videogame tie in for movies. These games are notoriously bad in pretty much all facets. Many issues usually play into this. One is that the designers are not really enthused about it and turn out a lackluster product. Another is that not much time is spent on plot or character development because it is apparently assumed that all of that is taken care of in the movie. Probably the biggest one is that the development is rushed because the game must be released by the movie’s release date.  This is frustrating because these games could be really good. The storylines from the movies are usually already intriguing, the characters are good, and the movie already garners much attention.  Many of these games go the way of one of the first movie tie in games, E.T (WORST GAME EVER!! Its been voted) and completely suck. Their only success is sucking precious time out of my life and leading me closer to death as an angry man.
           Another genre of games that can get my rocking in the corner and pulling my hair out is sports games. I absolutely love sports games. They are one of the few types of games where you can buy one release and play it forever without completely losing interest in it. My beef that I have is the weird little tweak that tries to balance the game and the extreme discrepancies between difficulty levels in some games.  My problem with the balancing tweak is mostly found in basketball games. This tweak basically makes the game stay even and competitive throughout and it pisses me off. I hate it so much because the gameplay is too damn predictable. I’ll get on a hot streak , then they will, then I will, then they will. It frustrates the hell outta me when no matter what I do or how good I am my team will magically suck ass and allow the other team to even the score before I actually start scoring again. The discrepancies between difficulty levels show up the most in the Madden series. On one level I have no problem at all beating the CPU and then on the very next difficulty level I can barely throw the ball without chucking up an interception! I’m either a freakin’ prodigy of the gridiron or I’m getting bent over the table and spanked. I need a nice medium ground damnit!
           My last little rant is about the lag that you can experience while playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 online. Nothing grinds my gears more than knifing a guy only to be shot down because of lag. I fully knife him and apparently I forgot my field knife and was wielding a butter knife because he survives to pop a round off into my face. My killstreak goes to hell and I am left sitting in front of my T.V. (fully nude as a gamer should be, I am one with nature when I play). It just really pisses me off and I like crying about it.-TCR
Tags: basketball, Call of Duty, E.T., madden, movie, sports, Video Games